It's A Magical World
by BlingBling021
Summary: Don't own Calvin and Hobbes! Bakura encounters winter, and experiences his first Christmas. Genre will change in later chapters. YAOI YYYB, YR, SJ, MM, maybe HO
1. Default Chapter

Okay, this is only my second attempt at writing a fic for someone besides me, and will probably end up being much crappier then I intended it to. It's supposed to be cheerful and fluffy, but I'm not sure if it will turn out that way. There also is a sad attempt at humor. Eventual pairings: YY/YB, Y/R, S/J, M/M, H/O. Romance will come in later, if people like this. And also, there will be some things based on religion also, namely the Nativity and stuff. But don't worry, Kris Kringle will not be ignored! Keeping that in mind, let's proceed.  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine.  
  
Warnings: Yaoi, maybe Anzu bashing, kind of OOC Bakura, Britney Spears bashing.  
  
#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#  
  
CHAPTER 1: Winter Wonderland  
  
~!@#$%^&*~!@#$%^&*~!@#$%^&*  
  
Yo. Bakura here. I just want you all to be crystal clear on something. That -winter- is the worst idea any of you mortals has ever come up with. Ever. I didn't even know it was -possible- for it to get this freaking cold!  
  
I asked Ryou about it, and he said that it was cold because the Earth's axis, whatever in heck that is, is pointing -away- from Ra, er, the -sun-, and even though we're the closest to it at this time of year, it's still cold because Ra has decided to become a great ball of ice whose light is from the reflection off Stupider, or something like that.  
  
I made that last part up, because I wasn't really listening. Too busy thinking about the Pharoah.  
  
Yes, contrary to popular belief, I -do- think. And about things -other- than killing, lying, cheating, stealing, attacking, getting revenge, and how hot Yami is. And I can lie, too, what a deal!  
  
I hate winter.  
  
Did I mention that?  
  
I think I did, but I'm telling you again -anyway-, because you have nothing else to do with your pitiful, irrelevant little lives then to sit here and listen to what I have to say!  
  
You know, seeing as the world revolves around me and all.  
  
So anyway, a few days ago, I made a great discovery. Along with winter comes -another- very unpleasant thing.  
  
Snow!  
  
It's cold and wet and soaks through my jeans when I have the unfortunate luck to fall it in! AND YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I FALL IN IT?! Because of the -NEXT- abominable thing that comes with winter! The STUPID! FRIGGING! -ICE- ! I -always- slip on it!  
  
-And- I watched this scary movie with a singing snowman and an elf that wanted to be a dentist and a deer with allergies or something, and there was a real live abominable snowman on it!  
  
Shadow Monsters!  
  
And there was -another- movie with this guy that has a fire sword and this weird llama thing that walks on two legs and and this big fat slug who goes to Pizza Hut and this girl who has donuts on her head and this guy with a cool black helmet and a spaceship and stuff and THAT SHOW HAD AN ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN TOO! They -do- exist, people!  
  
Ok, calm down, Bakura.  
  
Inhale. . . exhale. . . inhale. . . exhale. . .  
  
Sigh. The only comfort I get from all of this is that Ryou loves it. He's outside playing in the snow with everyone else right now. He says that he thinks winter is the best season of all because of the snow, and yet another interesting thing.  
  
Christmas.  
  
I still don't get what Christmas actually -is-, but from what Ryou said I'm guessing that you just wake up in the morning and get free stuff. After that, I decided I would put up with everything else. But I'm still waiting for that stupid morning to come already! Free loot sounds like the best idea these mortals have come up with so far.  
  
Oh, Ryou also said something about spending time with the people you love, singing, the Nativity, and other meaningless (to me, anyway) stuff like that, but guess what? You're psychic, that's right! I wasn't listening, yet -again-! I should win a prize for having the shortest attention span the world has ever known!  
  
Oh wait.  
  
Joey already won that one. Or did Tristan beat him? I really don't care.  
  
But I get the -highest- grades in school! . . . . . . Fs -do- stand for 'fantastic', right?  
  
Ooo, scratch what I said before about my only comfort, the list just got longer! Yami has fallen in the snow and ruined his leather! AHAHAHAHA! That's what you get for being such a prick, you idiot! Oh, now he's sending it to the Shadow Realm! Hee hee hee, sorry Pharoah, I already tried that. All it does is multiply! HA! Now he's covered up to his bad hairdo! Take that, moron!  
  
I'm not quite sure why snow can't go to the Shadow Realm. I suspect it's because the Shadow Realm was created in Egypt, and there -is- no horrid snow -there-.  
  
But then, how did I manage to send the first microwave, refrigerator, and toilet to the Shadow Realm? They definitely didn't have any of -those- in Ancient Egypt.  
  
Ah, well. It doesn't really matter. As stated before, my attention span is too short for further investigation.  
  
It's long enough to watch Yami be buried alive 4 times over, though. Ra! You'd think the guy would take a hint! That's what you get for refusing to sleep with me! Hmph. Then again, it's not like I ever asked you to. Never got around to that little detail. . .  
  
Ok, watching Yugi preach about the 'heart of the cards' while trying to desperately dig Yami out from under Mount Everest has just gotten boring. Yugi and the heart of the cards exist solely to annoy me, and Yami wouldn't have this problem if he had been smart, not even -touched- the white crap, and stayed inside. With -me-.  
  
What shall I do now?  
  
Oh, I know! I can tell you some more about 'Christmas'!  
  
While I was still listening to Ryou (just as he was leading up to the 'give free junk to yours truly' part) he was also talking about this madman they call. . . SANTA CLAWS. They say he knows -everything-, lives on the North Pole, which is supposedly a barber shop (I'll never look at Yugi's barber Pierre the same way again. . . come to think of it, that corrupted barber is probably the one behind the kid's hair-don't!), and makes PRESENTS.  
  
I didn't know what 'presents' were, so I asked Ryou. He looked at me like I had 3 heads, and then told me that's what you call a gift you give someone for free.  
  
Now, what complete and utter -MORON- would give -anyone- -anything- for -free-?! It sure as heck isn't me! If -I- wanted something, you gave it to me or you died, and if I gave away something, I always got something 5 times better in return! Honestly, some people. . .  
  
So anyway, this demon, Claws, is supposed to be James Bond in disguise or something. I can picture it now. . . 'The name's Claws. -Santa- Claws.'  
  
And Ryou said this guy works in secret all year, and then unleashes his wrath in December! He possesses some moose-deer fusion type creatures and makes them fly around while he calls everyone a ho. And then he sneaks down your chimney and steals your food.  
  
I said I could solve that by lighting a bonfire and sitting on the roof with a machine gun, but Ryou said that if I shot him I wouldn't get presents! Then I wanted to know what presents were, and the rest didn't matter anymore.  
  
Now I'm bored again.  
  
I wonder if they dug Yami up yet? Heh heh heh, dug him up. . . forget it. It's a deceased Egyptian spirit thing. Inside joke. Inside Yami's TOMB! Heh heh heh. . . stop looking at me like that! I told you to forget it, didn't I?! Ra!  
  
Hmph.  
  
What was I saying before?  
  
Oh yeah.  
  
I'm bored.  
  
That -still- hasn't changed.  
  
You people need to get with the program. When I'm bored, you entertain me, and all is right with the world.  
  
What? Screw me?! I WILL FEED YOU TO AMMIT!  
  
Fine then.  
  
Who needs -you- anyway?!  
  
-I- will just go outside and play in the snow.  
  
Hmph. . . . . .  
  
-After- I get on 3 more pairs of jeans, my thug hat, some heavy duty gloves, and all the coats I can find, that is.  
  
@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@  
  
"Hey Bakura, looks like you gained a few pounds!" Joey called to me as I stepped into the outside freezer.  
  
"Yeah, what did you eat last night?" Tristan added.  
  
"Huh? THESE ARE CALLED -COATS- YOU IMBECILE!" I yelled at them. The chihuahua (I'm still not sure what exactly that -is-, but Kaiba always calls him that, and Ryou says Taco Bell has one, and the stuff at Taco Bell smells weird, so therefore I think it must mean that someone stinks if you call them that. . . Oops, attention span time is up for this thought) snickers at me.  
  
"Suuuure, Baku-Spears!"  
  
Oh -no- he didn't.  
  
-That- is crossing the line.  
  
-No one- calls me nicknames of any sort, -especially- not nicknames related to slutty pop-idols!  
  
. . .Well, maybe I would let Ryou live. And Yami. But Joey just signed his. . . igloo-coffin.  
  
I call it an 'igloo-coffin' because I am about to try out one of the things Ryou taught me to do with snow. The wonderful art of making stinging grenades from Heaven. Aka snowball fights.  
  
I narrowed my eyes and reached down.  
  
"Ha ha ha! Joey's gonna get smashed like the roadkill he is!"  
  
Ah, the great Seto Kaiba has decided to grace us with his presence.  
  
Either that, or he was held at fork-point by Mokuba to come visit us peasants. I'm guessing the latter.  
  
"Kaiba! Go away!" Joey growled.  
  
Oh yeah, like anyone here can't see that blush. Moron.  
  
Kaiba sneers. "And miss the show? Why would I do that?"  
  
What? I'm now a TV channel?! I must remember to throw a few snowballs at him, too.  
  
Joey visibly fills up with steam, and launches himself at Kaiba.  
  
"WHY I OUGHTTA--" -SPLAT-!  
  
Enter me.  
  
$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$  
  
~TBC~  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Well, did anyone like it? If they did, would they be so kind as to tell me? I know it was really short, I just wanted to end it there. Okay, that's all. See you next chapter! 


	2. Frosty The Snowman

And I'm back for chapter 2! It's snowing! Hooray! I was so happy that I decided to work hard on this!I am -so- sorry it took me so long to update. I -would've- had this up about. . . -Tuesday-, but I got in trouble and my ever-so-kind mother flat out hauled my computer out of my room (-with- my disk still in it), and I just now got it back.  
  
I'll have to try to update a -lot- faster if I want to get this done by Christmas, or at least New Years. -_-;; Plus, I had basketball and violin about every day this week, -and- I started drawing a new picture of the cast of Yu-Gi-Oh in basketball uniforms. -Then- I'm gonna have to study for finals, and I haven't done any of my Christmas shopping yet! It's kinda hectic. . . but I'll try to be faster, I promise! Can't say anything about the length of the updates, though. . .  
  
Anyway, thank you to all who reviewed!  
  
fani90: You can only review once? Huh. I'm a new author and didn't know that. I'm glad you like my fic!  
  
HieiTheDarkGem: I'm glad you think it was funny! I'm one of those people who making other people laugh makes me happy. ^_^  
  
Misura: You didn't think it was short? That's good. Bakura is my favorite character, I'm glad you liked his personality! I've read a lot of your fics, and they're really good! Especially your new YY/YB one! (it's new to me since I haven't been online all week so. . .)  
  
Disclaimer applies to all future chapters.  
  
Notes: I didn't feel like this chapter was up to snuff, but I wanted to get it out quickly. I'm sorry if it's not, and I'll try to do better next time.  
  
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Chapter 2: Frosty The Snowman  
  
~!@#$%^&*~!@#$%^&*~!@#$%^&*  
  
Joey blinked, then scraped the snow off his face, revealing a shining, raw piece of skin.  
  
Oops, I must've accidentally put some ice in there. Silly me.  
  
Kaiba was by Joey's side in an instant. Heh, always knew they had a thing going.  
  
"Are you okay?" he asked, ice-blue eyes flashing concern for a split second. I saw the blood rush to Joey's cheeks at the close proximity.  
  
Give me a break.  
  
"Uh, y-yeah," Joey said softly. Kaiba reached up and softly ran a hand down the blonde's cheek. Joey leaned in to the touch and gazed up at the CEO confusedly. They locked gazes, and Kaiba leaned closer.  
  
"Oh, -PUH-lease!" My melodius voice rang out across the white expanse.  
  
. . . . . . I didn't realize it had been so quiet.  
  
Everyone jumped and whipped around to face me, angry expressions on their faces. None rivaled Kaiba's, however, by far.  
  
/'Kura, you idiot!/ Ryou yelled at me through our mind link.  
  
//What?//. . . . . Remind me to work on my 'innocent' voice later.  
  
/They were about to confess and you ruined it!/ Ryou answered angrily.  
  
//And that's. . . . bad?// Ra, why does -he- care, anyway? People are so nosy in this age.  
  
/-Yes-, it's bad! They look so cute together!/  
  
//Oh ho ho! So you're--// But I never got to finish, because right then I was blinded by a wall of white from all directions.  
  
"AAARGH!"  
  
&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@  
  
Well, wasn't -that- just peachy. I was frozen, maimed, and snowballed to a pulp, and I only got to touch Yami -once- in the chaos! How sucky is -that- ?!  
  
But I never knew Ryou could throw so hard. Ouch.  
  
Well, it's finally over, and I found another thing to add to my list of 'Things About Winter To Dispose Of When I Take Over The World'.  
  
Snowball fights.  
  
-SMACK-!  
  
"Darn it, Yugi! The snowball fight's -over-!" I heard His Majesty yell at his aibou.  
  
"Sorry Yami," the midget said, beaming. Pharoah glared at him, mumbling under his breath, then turned to go back home. As soon as he had his back turned, I saw Yugi scoop some snow into his pockets. Heh heh heh, sneaky little Hikari. Go Yugi!  
  
If it had been -my- Hikari, we would've had a problem, but seeing as it's -Yami's-. . . .  
  
"Yami!" I heard Yugi call to the Pharoah.  
  
"What is it, aibou?"  
  
Yugi smiled that disgustingly sweet smile of his. "Can we make a snowman when we get home?" he asked, beaming up at Yami.  
  
Whoa, whoa, whoa. -Hold- up. What's a snowman?  
  
Oh wait, Ryou told me about those. You just pack the snow together into a big pile, and then you can make it into any shape you want! . . . . . .  
  
!  
  
I just had an idea!  
  
Yes I -do- have those regularly, for your information! Ra! Some people! Oh wait, Yami's talking again.  
  
"Yugi, I'm soaked! I just got buried under a Kilamanjaro of snow, here!" the whiny Pharoah protested.  
  
Likely story.  
  
"Plus, my leather is in ruin, and it is so cold I could swear I feel my hair gel turning to ice!" he continued to himself under his breath.  
  
A-ha-. The truth is revealed! I -knew- he had a selfish streak -some-where beneath all those buckles.  
  
Yugi's face fell, and he looked at the ground in disappointment.  
  
"Oh. Well, if you don't want to. . ." he trailed off forlornly, glancing at Yami sadly.  
  
Oh, this is funny. I can read exactly what's going through Yami's mind right now. It's something along the lines of: 'Crappit, crappit, crap it all! Him and his stupid Hikari eyes!'  
  
You may think it's funny, but it's not. We yamis have to slave for those eyes.  
  
Yami sighed. "Well, I guess it would be okay, as long as we got to go inside and have more of those Andies candies first."  
  
Yugi's face adopted its naturally bright expression again, and he jumped into the air happily.  
  
"Thank you Yami!"  
  
Sigh. The things we have to put up with for our lights. Not that I'm sympathizing with him or anything. We all know -that's- never gonna happen!  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
Hey, Yami here, just a quick question for you all. Has anyone here ever had one of those Andies candies? Ra himself must've created them! They're -so- good! I wonder how you make them. . . .  
  
Hey! I've just found something to contemplate for the next 6 hours! Yes! You see, -I-, unlike cetain tomb robbers who make up for their lack of brains solely by being physically attractive, have a highly intelligent mind, and an attention span that can last for years!  
  
Actually, I'm not surprised the theif's attention span is so short. When you're stuck in a hunk of junk for 5000 years, you can get bored pretty darn fast.  
  
Now, let's see, they have chocolate and mint flavoring. . . . . .  
  
!#*!#*!#*!#*!#*!#*!#*!#*!#*!#*!#*!#*!#*!#*  
  
-HellOOoo-?!  
  
Calling the moron in front of the computer!  
  
Ah, good, you're back.  
  
You spaced out for a minute there. What were you doing that was more interesting than obeying every wish and whim of the almighty -Bakura-, anyway?! Huh?! Tell me!  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
  
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YAMI'S POINT OF VIEW?!  
  
-TRAITOR-!  
  
Oh, wait! Now you can tell me wether I should make a move on him or not, right?  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
  
Okay, you know what? You can just get lost, you worthless little brat, and shove that 'Like hell I'll tell you, that would ruin the plot!' -up- -your- -a--!  
  
"Bakura!"  
  
Oh, now what does he want?  
  
"What, Ryou?" I ask as I turn towards him.  
  
SPLAT!  
  
"AAARGH!"  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
Um, excuse me? Ahem, I believe I was just revealing the deepest, darkest secrets of the modern world to you. You should not be ignoring me, for I am the Pharoah, and I star in every single episode, no matter how much it may annoy certain others.  
  
Hmph.  
  
Anyway, as I was concluding, I will never ever know what Andies candies are actually made of, and if I did, the magic would be gone.  
  
And now we are back at the Game Shop, and I am forced to build a crude impersonation of a modern mortal being using this accursed white stuff.  
  
-And- I -have- to be nice to Yugi, or I won't get stuff on Christmas morning! Yugi explained it all to me.  
  
SLAP!  
  
!#*!#*!#*!#*!#*!#*!#*!#*!#*!#*!#*!#*!#*!#*  
  
HEY! I'm still talking here! Pay attention! Get out of his point of view, no one cares about what -he- has to say!  
  
-I-, on the other hand, have big news!  
  
My nutso Hikari wants to go -buy- a -tree-!  
  
AHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
A tree! He's gonna put a -tree- inside the -house-!  
  
That is -too- funny!  
  
What is -with- you people and your traditions, anyway?  
  
I mean, come on, actually -paying- for things you want? And putting chihuahua trees (the trees don't exactly -stink-, they just smell weird) inside your house in winter.  
  
Who cares if a few trees die, ever heard of a -rainforest-, numbskull? Jeez. In -Egypt- this would have been a big deal, but -here-?  
  
Hey, now Ryou's saying he wants me to come with him to cut down a tree.  
  
That shouldn't be too hard, there's a nice one in the yard right next to us.  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
  
That one didn't go over too well. Apparently you have to go to special places where they grow trees just so you can cut them down at this time of year.  
  
And I thought -Tea- had a retarded job.  
  
But the people that work at -that- place must be stupider, they're going to trust me with an axe! Yes!  
  
Wait, how're we gonna get this thing back to the house? We don't have a car, Hikari!  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . No.  
  
I refuse.  
  
Just because Yugi's grandpa has a car, I'M HELL AS NOT GONNA GO CUT A TREE DOWN WITH THE HELP OF THE -PHAROAH-, SO HELP ME--  
  
A Hummer, you say?  
  
Get your coat on Ryou, we're going to get a Christmas tree!  
  
$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%  
  
~TBC~  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Well, it was a -little- longer at least. Like I said before, I didn't think this chapter was very good, but oh well! I should have the next one up pretty soon, maybe as early as this Wednesday, but I don't know. Another hectic week coming up. If I get it done I'll post it after I have at least 1 review for this chapter. Bye for now! 


	3. Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree

On to chapter 3! I kinda had writer's block on this chapter, because I was distracted with Christmas shopping, and I get over-generous, so I now owe my dad money for a month. ^_^;; So, again, this chapter sucks. Please forgive me, I don't have time to be inspired! And if you are hyper while you read this, it will help. A lot.  
  
Thank you to fani90 and Cettie-girl for reviewing!  
  
Notes: If I don't finish this story by Christmas, which I doubt I will, it'll be okay if I prolong the Christmas spirit for a little while, right? And also, the pairings may seem a little rushed. Or they might have no details whatsoever, because I'm focusing this fic on Yami and Bakura. I will consider writing side-stories for this later, though. Can't say anything about what the ratings will be, yet. . . .  
  
Warnings: Tea bashing, implied yaoi, various other character bashing (c'mon, it's Bakura)  
  
#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*  
  
Chapter 3: Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree  
  
~!@#$%^&*~!@#$%^&*~!@#$%^&*  
  
DING DONG!  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
  
"Bakura?"  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
  
DIIIINNNNG DOOONNNNG!  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
  
"Bakuurra?"  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
  
DDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG DDDDDDOOOOOONNNNNNGGGGG!!!!!!!  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
  
"Bakkuuurrrrrraaaaaa. . ."  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
  
WHAM WHAM WHAM!  
  
"-BAKURA-!"  
  
"CHIKUSHO, YAMI, OPEN THE FRICKING DOOR! I'M STUCK OUT HERE FREEZING OFF MY- -"  
  
The door of the house nextdoor opened up.  
  
"Bad temper?" said a smirking multicolored head, sticking out.  
  
I blinked, looking from Yami to the house I was currently in front of and back again. Wait. . . . .  
  
"Um, I -was- trying to tell you that you had the wrong house," offered Ryou quietly, hiding his face behind his hand so as not to betray his giggling.  
  
. . . . . . . . WHAT?!  
  
Yami didn't bother holding it in and openly cracked up.  
  
"You'd think the big sign that says 'GAME' above the door would give you a clue, baka!"  
  
"I CAN'T -READ- IT, YOU *******!" I fumed.  
  
I swear to Ra, one of these days, I'm going to snap and murder -all- of these people while laughing hysterically!  
  
On the other hand, I could pretend to snap now and. . . . . . . .Oh yeah, that one -definitely- wins. I'm such a genius! Go me!  
  
I let out an enraged screech (I'm such a good actor) and launched my self at Yami, tackling him (feeling him up, of course) and bringing us both crashing down the stairs.  
  
. . . . . . . -Ouch-.  
  
What a stupid place to put concrete steps.  
  
Okay, maybe that -wasn't- such a good idea. Everyone has to screw up sometimes.  
  
Yes, even inlcuding those of us that are perfect.  
  
. . . . . . . . . . Of course I'm perfect, where have -you- been?! Okay, you know what?! I'm sick and tired of your critisism and slander against me! If you don't have anything nice to say, go insult Tea!  
  
Hmph.  
  
I get off of Yami nonchalantly without even punching him, leaving him, Ryou, and Yugi, who has just come out the door, very discombobulated.  
  
I love that word.  
  
It means confused, for any of you who are not flawless like moi and have a very limited vocabulary.  
  
"Well?! Are we going to go get the k'so tree or what?!" I demand impatiently. Actually I couldn't care less about the stupid tree. I just want to drive the Hummer.  
  
About that, where in Ra's name is the old geezer who runs this pathetic gameshop going to get a Hummer?! That's what -I- want to know! As long as I get to drive it, though, I won't bring up anything about the blackmarket. . . . . . until we're home, that is.  
  
After a year or two, Yami finally stops staring at me and gets off the ground. He wordlessly (although, I dare say, Yugi and Ryou are talking quite enough for the four of us. . . hmm, suspiscious. . . it occurred to me that since -I'm- gay, Ryou probably is too, and if -he's- gay and attracted to -Yugi-, then I'll -have- to spend more time with Yami, and eventually I'll get laid! -But-, if I spend time with him, I might get -attached- to him, and then there might be ::shiver:: -emotions- involved, and then our relationship would come to a screeching halt because I would have no idea what to do and I would have to stop trying to take the Puzzle and I might go crazy and hurt Ryou or Yugi or go be a mass murderer and a wave of terror would sweep the nation and country western music would be playing everywhere and everyone would commit suicide and it would be the end of the world as we know it! . . . Forget about that though, all that -really- matters is that I'll get to screw Yami senseless! Booyah! All that depends on Ryou falling in love with Yugi, though. . . Remind me to look into this later. Uh oh! I almost overran my typical American 15 second attention span! Warn me next time, why don't you?!) leads us around back to the car.  
  
I take a deep breath, and then turn around the corner where the beautiful, high-tech (reminder to self: go swipe a Sean Paul Navigator as soon as they make one in Japan) metal shrine to Ra is waiting!  
  
IT'S ABSOLUTELY GLORIUS!  
  
Although, I didn't remember the one on the commercial being so small. Or having that rusty, 50s look, with two flat tires. Or having tacky, hot-pink fuzzy dice hanging from the rearview mirror, or being such a barf-green shade. Or missing the bumper, one of the headlights, and the antenna.  
  
. . . . . . . . . . Ra help me.  
  
I'm about to drive a Yugo.  
  
@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@  
  
For anyone who doesn't know what a Yugo looks like, think 'cardboard box' and you're getting pretty close. Ryou is -so- gonna have hell to pay for this!  
  
I am currently sitting crammed underneath Yami (that part I'm not complaining about, although I think he's doing all these rough swerves and twisting around in his seat so much to get me hard on purpose) due to the fact that there are only TWO FRIGGIN SEATS IN THIS ACCURSED PIECE OF CRAP, -and- I don't even get to drive it!  
  
-Yami- does, because he's shorter (hence why he's sitting on top), more trustworthy, and has only gotten 1 ticket since Yugi taught him how to drive! That is -so- unfair! 1 ticket, 37 tickets, what's the big difference?! He won't even do wheelies, run through red lights, drive backwards, -or- flick off cops while going 50 miles over the speed limit and tossing weed out the window!  
  
Party pooper.  
  
Also, the only radio station that will come in plays -classical- ::shudder::, and the heat just barely works.  
  
No heat is just another perk to our seating arrangement, though.  
  
Next to me, Yugi (ha ha, Yugi sounds like Yugo, and they're -both- tiny and annoying!) is sitting on Ryou's lap, talking animatedly to him.  
  
Okay, just a totally off-subject thought here, but when do we ever -not- talk animatedly! We -are- animated, duh!  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . Apparently I wasn't supposed to know that. Oh, shut up, why don't you?!  
  
Anyway, he's getting quite close to Ryou, and I would probably have them start something, if it wasn't for the hunk of pure hotness currently sitting on top of me.  
  
Come to think of it, I don't think I hate this car so much after all.  
  
I'm still jacking a Navigator though.  
  
By Ra, are we there -yet-? Are we even still in -Japan-? It's been what 25 minutes?! I haven't got my whole life to waste away, you know!  
  
Okay, so -technically- I already -did- waste my life away, and -tecnically- I'm -not- alive -anyway-. . . I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP!  
  
AAAARRRRGH!  
  
"We're here," said Captain Enthusiasm, softly stopping the car. If -I- had been driving, I would've given him some serious whiplash!  
  
Which is another reason I'm not driving.  
  
. . . . . . . . Kso.  
  
We all get out of the car and look around.  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . What. The. Hell.  
  
I just got deprived of Yami's body to look at some stupid -FOREST-?! RA! There were trees JUST LIKE THESE in the backyard a few houses down! But -NOOOO-, we have to come halfway around the -world- to get a stupid -tree- -here-, so that we can put it -inside- for -Christmas-.  
  
Sigh.  
  
I don't think I will ever understand mortals. Maybe I should move to America, where people are -normal-. Or at least more like -me-.  
  
Sigh again.  
  
It's really cold out here.  
  
I hate winter.  
  
I think I mentioned that before.  
  
Okay, so now we're being given an ax and directed to the forest.  
  
Um, I can find the forest on my own buddy, I'm not a blind old coot like you. Hey! They just gave the ax to Ryou! Not fair!  
  
Hmph.  
  
I am -so- underappreciated around here.  
  
Okay, so now we're going into the mini-forest. These trees are crap. They all have these little green needle things on them, why doesn't Ryou want a palm tree instead?  
  
. . . . . . . Oh. I see. Palm trees are not -traditional-. Well, up yours, Ryou! They're traditional in -Egypt-!  
  
The Pharoah seems to agree with me, looking at the weirded out expression on his face.  
  
Yugi is still talking, Ryou picks a tree, I tell him it sucks, Yugi is -still- talking, Yami is ignoring us, Ryou picks another tree, I tell him that one sucks too, Yugi is -STILL- talking, and on, and on, and on. . . . . .  
  
I'm bored.  
  
Yes Ryou, -that- tree sucks too.  
  
No, Ryou, I could -not- care less about which tree you pick.  
  
No, Ryou, I'm -not- sorry for not saying so before.  
  
Yes, Ryou, I -am- bored out of my skull.  
  
Yes Ryou, I -do- want to go home.  
  
No, Ryou, I--hold up.  
  
-Socks- for the -fireplace-?!  
  
-Please- tell me this is all a bad dream!  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
  
Sigh. Evidently it's -not- just a nightmare, and it's snowing again.  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . My life is a joke.  
  
$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$  
  
TBC  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Yes, it sucked. Yes, the ending was rushed. Yes, I am out of ideas. SO HELP ME HERE! I know what I want to happen, but have no fillers in between! Please review and give me your ideas! 


	4. You Better Watch Out, You Better Not Che...

Chapter 4, yes, but nobody gave me any ideas of what to write! I'm only updating because I need to start the miniscule plot that this actually has, and I just saw Lord of the Rings Return of the King! It was so good! You -have- to go see it! I was so into the movie at the end that I actually cried!  
  
Anyway, thank you Cettie-girl for reviewing!  
  
Notes: Ok like I said before I -really- don't know what to write! So for now I'm still in Bakura's point of view, but I will be getting out of it later, because this is supposed to become romance -some-time, and it's hard to write romance from one person's point of view for me. And also, I don't really care if they have McDonaldses in Japan or not. Just in case that bugs anyone in this chapter.  
  
Warnings: Tea and cheerleader bashing  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, and don't own the cheer Bakura says in this chapter. I heard it from my friend (who IS a cheerleader, lol, but for real) and thought it was hilarious, because I think cheerleaders are WAY too preppy. No offense whatsoever to anyone who IS one, I guess I'm just a naturally grumpy person. ^_^;;  
  
#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#  
  
Chapter 4: You Better Watch out, You Better -Not- Cheer  
  
~!@#$%^&*~!@#$%^&*~!@#$%^&*  
  
Christmas shopping. Ha. He might as well have said, 'You have to get me something wether you like it or not, so haul yourself into that mall and swipe something good!'  
  
I'm onto you, Ryou!  
  
However, it seems I'm becoming -way- too much of a pushover, because here I am, in the mall, trying to decide which knife I want.  
  
Hell, why am I wasting time with -this-?! I'll just take them all! Christmas present, check.  
  
What, you didn't actually think I was going to get something for -Ryou-, did you? Heh, well that just makes you ugly, -and- stupid!  
  
AAA! GET AWAY FROM ME! I GIVE, I GIVE! I'LL GET SOMETHING FOR RYOU! HAPPY?!  
  
RA!  
  
Hmph. I don't even know what he -wants-! And no, I am not going to get him a cute little Build-A-Bear! I made a vow long ago that I would -never- enter that store! That stuffing is possessed, I tell you!  
  
How about I get him a sweater? He seems to like those. Or a hairbrush. Or makeup. . . . hee hee hee. . . .  
  
EEEK! OK OK! I -WON'T- GET HIM MAKEUP!  
  
Well what do -you- suggest I get him, huh?! HUH?! WELL?!  
  
That's what I thought!  
  
Wait, what?  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Um, no. That goes with a sub-paragraph under the Never-Go-Into-Build-A-Bear law. But I have an idea! It's perfect! I'm a genius!  
  
But you already knew that.  
  
Ok, here's the scoop. I kidnap Yugi, tie him up in a Christmas present, and give him to Ryou!  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
  
Why would Ryou be suspiscious? I wouldn't be stupid enough to put -airholes- in the box!  
  
AAA! NO BUILD-A-BEARS, -NO BUILD-A-BEARS-! Why do you stupid fangirls like that brat, anyway?!  
  
Oh, stuff it, he is -not- cute as all hell!  
  
. . . . . . . . . . Well, maybe a -little- bit. But only 'cause he looks like Yami! Really! STOP LAUGHING AT ME!  
  
Ok, so how about I just try setting them up on a date? . . . . . . . . . .  
  
What do you mean, 'the cheap way out'?! Look, do you fangirls want stupid ol' BlingBling to hurry up and write yaoi between me and Yami already or what?! I sure as hell want her to!  
  
Ok, look, I'll pay for the date. Happy? . . . . . . . .  
  
Hey! McDonalds is a perfectly -fine- gourmet restaurant! The dollar menu is just as good as what we eat all the time at home, anyway!  
  
. . . . . . . . . . WHAT DO YOU MEAN, -THE RITZ-?! DO YOU WANT ME TO LIVE ON THE STREET FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?! I'M TOO HOT TO BE WASTED LIKE THAT!  
  
Ok, how about. . . . Olive garden? Nah, that's a more summer-y kind of place. Umm. . . . St. Louis Bread Company? Yes, that's a perfect place for a date! Especially during winter! Hmm, remind me to take Yami there sometime. . . .  
  
Okay, so I'm getting Ryou a date with Yugi. Good. Now I have to figure out how to get Yugi to go. Kso, this is going to take Yami's help.  
  
But that's ok. As long as I get to be close to him, it really doesn't matter. All I want to do is be his friend. I really do like him a lot, and that's enough for me. We don't have to do anything if he's not ready.  
  
Ha, December Fool's Day! I'll get close to Yami alright, but I'll be seducing him a soon as possible! Heh heh heh, I can't wait.  
  
But first things first, there's knives to be stolen!  
  
@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@  
  
Okay, so security has improved a bit in all these years. No biggie. All they saw is Ryou's hair. . . and what was apparently him mooning the security cameras. . . . . . .  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . I'm screwed.  
  
This bathroom should be a good enough hiding place for now, though. I can test out my knives!  
  
WHISH!  
  
THUNK!  
  
Watch it there, buddy! Ah well, that was an ugly hat anyway. Hey, this cheap thing won't come out of the wall!  
  
Chikusho!  
  
Uh oh, someone's coming in. And they're . . . .giggling?  
  
My Ra, it's cheerleaders. Led by the one and only (thank the gods) Tea Gardener.  
  
Ok, now I'm -really- screwed.  
  
"Hee hee, this is like so much fun!" Dorkett number 1 said in such a high- pitched valley-girl voice that I swear the mirror just cracked.  
  
"I know!" squealed Twit-rietta. "Going into a guys bathroom at the -mall-?! Tea, you are like, -so- bad!"  
  
Ms. Vain Supreme smiled and giggled. "Like totally!" Then she stopped dead in her tracks when she saw me. "Bakura?" she gasped. "Oh my god! You won't tell, will you?" All 5 of the girls suddenly froze and stared at me with big puppy eyes.  
  
Oh, barf.  
  
I smile evilly. "Who's gonna stop me?"  
  
They all burst into tears simultaneously.  
  
"No!"  
  
"You -wouldn't-!"  
  
"Friends don't do that to each other!"  
  
"Like, you are such a meanie!"  
  
"Totally!"  
  
"AAARGH!" FIRST BUILD-A-BEARS, NOW CHEERLEADERS! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO -YOU- ?!  
  
You know, besides all that other evil stuff.  
  
. . . . . . . . . I think I just cracked.  
  
"You guys drive me nuts!" I scream at them. "Like totally! For sure! Look, I got a manicure! Oh no! I swear! The sun has bleached my perfect hair! Twenty-one! Twenty-four! How should -I- know the stupid score? Rah rah! Fight fight! Gee, I hope I look alright!"  
  
. . . . . . . I'm done now.  
  
They stare blankly at me. It felt good to get that off my chest. I think it's time to go.  
  
I hightailed it out of there as fast as I can; I was starting to smell of the sweet pea lotion that they reeked of. [A/N I -love- sweet pea, though!]  
  
Ok, now I have to go home and call Yami. And it's still snowing. Just great.  
  
When I get home, I stop dead in my tracks. The house is covered with colored -lights-! AAA! I run inside and find the stupid tree fancied up with the same things! Only it has glass orbs on it too! And there are the promised stockings on the fireplace!  
  
I put my head in my hands.  
  
Ryou, Ryou, Ryou. . . . . . .  
  
$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%  
  
TBC?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Ok you need to tell me if this is good or if I should just give up now. If you actually read this, please review, even if it's only a 'this sucks' or an 'update soon'. What I'm thinking of doing is just wrapping this up in one more -long- chapter, and when I say long I mean -long-, and I will post it Christmas day. If I get no reviews I'll just drop the story probably. If I do post the next chapter, it could possibly be under Romance, so keep an eye out for it there. Ok, well, maybe see you later, and I hope my writing while -out- of Bakura's point of view will be better. Ja! 


	5. Jingle Bells

GASP! People like this? I'm touched! -^_^-  
  
Thank you to my reviewers!  
  
Hina Kariachi Hakubi: I can see why you almost spelled you're name wrong! It's cool though and I'm glad you liked my story! I decided to update before Christmas after all!  
  
Nameless One: ^_^ Chocolate frog! Harry Potter rules! Well, no, but it's right below someone I know and Yu-Gi-Oh! (that rhymes ^_^)  
  
sugahigh: Here's the next installment! Thank you for your review!  
  
Also, ignore the number of reviews I got. Fanfiction.net screwed up and sent me all of your reviews twice.^_^;;  
  
Warnings: References to Christianity, so if anyone is Atheist, you were warned and I will delete any flames about it.  
  
Notes: The chapter will be starting in Bakura's point of view, and then getting out of it when they actually get to setting up Ryou and Yugi. It may also become a little more serious, cuz I need to get this in the right mood for next chapter. Yes, Bakura can have a serious side. Shame, isn't it? I've kinda been writing him as hyper at heart. . . . Also, this chapter may seem kind of lame, cuz I wrote it while listening to Get On My Level (Eva Eva) (good song! ^_~) and my mind was on other things. . .  
  
#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*  
  
Chapter 5: Jingle Bells  
  
~!@#$%^&*~!@#$%^&*~!@#$%^&*  
  
I should've done that a long time ago.  
  
Ryou and I just sat down and had a long talk about Christmas.  
  
Not that we haven't done that before, but I actually paid attention this time. I tell you, us poor ADHD people are so discriminated against! You wanna go kill people now? No, just kidding. Anyway, I've pretty much got this holiday down.  
  
[A/N ADHD is an attention disorder. Children that have it have like a 2- second attention span. Hence the killing people request right out of the blue. Just wanted to make sure everyone understood that.]  
  
That won't stop me from slightly 'editing' the decorations while Ryou is out today, though.  
  
It seems you do -not- put cocaine in the socks above the firplace so that you can knock out Claws and bag him when he comes to murder you. The socks are just another place for the free stuff to be put.  
  
I didn't understand why they had to be so small, though, so I just wrote my name on a deluxe heavy-duty trash bag and hung that instead.  
  
Ryou also said that he wasn't sure what tradition the 'pine' (::cough- chihuahua-cough::) trees actually came from, but they were traditional just the same. That's also where you find your presents Christmas morning, which is supposedly the morning after tomorrow.  
  
I'm also supposed to leave milk and the cookies that Ryou baked by the fireplace (that I'm not allowed to light a fire in) to bribe Santa into -not- killing me and give me more loot. I, however, am also leaving him -cheese-, because I saw something on TV that obviously proves he likes cheese better! It's very powerful!  
  
Also, my Hikari told me that Santa is -always- watching you, even when you're sleeping!  
  
-CREEP-!  
  
So we've got a stalker running this operation, have we?! The youth of our nation are in danger!  
  
And even worse, whenever I do something bad I'll get stuck on the -naughty list-, which is supposedly an hourly update of your criminal record! -And- if you are -naughty-, then you get less presents and Coca Cola in your socks!  
  
AAA!  
  
Actually, the Coca Cola part didn't sound too bad (unless it has no caffeine!), but less presents sounds -horrible-!  
  
What did I ever do to -you-, Claws?!  
  
-But-, Ryou also implied that there was a loophole! If I'm nice to people for the rest of the time, I can get back on the list of -good- boys, girls, and 5000-year-old spirits!  
  
-So-, I just have to suck up for 1 more day, and then Claws will be puddy in my hands! And I also have to celebrate the -true- meaning of Christmas too, which is that we celebrate the birth of a baby that happened 2000 years ago or something.  
  
I find that very unfair.  
  
We sure don't have a holiday for -me-, and I'm 3000 years this guy's senior!  
  
An well. Another thing to change once I rule supreme.  
  
Anyway, Ryou went all out in decorating for this. There's a 'Nativity' scene made of porcelein on the fireplace (above the socks), an Advent wreath on the table, and a star on the top of the tree, which Ryou says is to represent the Star in the East, and it's a long story.  
  
He also put up 'thistletoe', and still won't tell me what it is. All I could figure out through the mindlink (which he was -blocking-, the cheater) is that you don't want to kiss it.  
  
. . . . . . . I have a feeling I don't really want to know what it is.  
  
Hey, did you know it was possible to get drunk on eggnog?  
  
Oh crap, I should probably get started on plotting with Yami for Ryou's date! That'll count as something -good-, right?  
  
Right.  
  
. . . . . . . . What am I talking about? I'm -always- right!  
  
Silly me.  
  
Okay, off to Yami's house we go!  
  
$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$  
  
Bakura found Yami's house on the first try this time around. He didn't bother ringing, though, and just entered through the shop doors.  
  
"Hello," said Yami in a bored voice without looking up from his dueling deck, which he was improving. "Welcome to the Game Shop. No, we do not have any new shipments of duel monsters cards or posters. We do not do delivery, so get over it. We are closed starting tomorrow for three days, and we close in 2 minutes tonight. You should not be out shopping this late. We are sold out of all puzzles, cards, dice, and boardgames that have anything remotely to do with Christmas. If you are still here,--"  
  
"-Ahem-," Bakura coughed annoyedly. Yami looked up from his deck.  
  
"What do -you- want?" he asked in the same monotone voice. "I'm busy today, so if you would be ever so kind in leaving, maybe I'll let you have a mint from that bowl over there, as long as it's not one of the Andies Candies."  
  
Bakura snorted. "You don't look very busy to -me-, Pharoah. You mess around with your deck every day." Yami glared up at Bakura.  
  
"I'm trying to think of what to get Yugi for a Christmas present, ok?!" he snapped. "Even though I -still- don't understand what the fuss is all about. . . ." Bakura's face suddenly lit up.  
  
"That's great! You haven't gotten him anything yet! Well, I have a proposal for you," he said, still smiling. Yami narrowed his eyes suspisciously.  
  
"And that would be?"  
  
"Help me set Yugi and Ryou up on a date!"  
  
If Yami had been drinking anything at the moment, he would've spit it out instantly.  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"Oh, c'mon," Bakura urged. "You -know- they like each other! And what better gift to get your Hikari than the thing he wants most?"  
  
Yami blanched. What the heck? Ok, so maybe he -had- noticed a thing between Ryou and Yugi, but why was Bakura suggesting that they worked together right out of the blue? They were complete enemies, for Ra's sake! -But-, it -was- true that he needed to get something for Yugi. . . .and Bakura was obviously only doing this so he could get his gift for Ryou out of the way. . . . .  
  
He still seemed to have doubts. He looked at the floor for a minute, thinking. Then he looked back up at Bakura, a smirk suddenly appearing on his face.  
  
"So this means -you- haven't gotten anything for -your- Hikari, either?" he asked.  
  
"No, I haven't," said Bakura surprised by the question. What was he getting at? Yami's brain appeared to be working fast.  
  
"-So-, if -I- don't help you, then you're screwed, assuming Ryou gave you the same rundown on Christmas that I got?" said Yami, his smile widening.  
  
"Yes. . . I guess so. . ." grit out Bakura slowly.  
  
"So, if I help you, that means you owe me something, right?" Yami was flat out beaming evilly now.  
  
"Hey!" Bakura sputtered indignantly. "You're supposed to have the spirit of joy and love that comes with Christmas! You give me stuff -free-, otherwise Claws will come for you!" Yami's eyes widened.  
  
"I forgot about him!" Kso! That darn Santa has me every way I turn! "Ok, I'll help you," Yami muttered. "What did you have in mind?"  
  
Bakura 'hmph'ed and mumbled something about someone who was more beautiful than they were worth, but then told Yami about the St. Louis Bread Company, and how you could buy -gift certificates- (supposedly counterfeit money) there.  
  
"So I'll just get some for Ryou, and you get some for Yugi, and then we both tell them to go there at about. . . 7:30 tomorrow evening. Sound good?" Bakura concluded, halfway out Yami's door.  
  
"Uh huh," Yami agreed, then paused. "But you still owe me!" He slammed the door in Bakura's face, and, while snickering and ignoring the curses and bangs from outside, silently pleaded with Santa not to steal anything with buckles from him.  
  
+%+%+%+%+%+%+%+%+%+%+%  
  
"Ryou?" Bakura asked from the doorway in his sweetest voice. Ryou immediately knew he was about to try to coax something out of him.  
  
"What did you do -this- time, yami?" he asked wearily.  
  
"How quickly you burden me with such unreasonable accusations!" Bakura gasped. "Why, you would almost think that I do evil things on a regular basis!" Ryou glared. Bakura sweatdropped. Time for plan B. . . .  
  
"Beautiful Hikari! -Wonderful- Hikari! Kind and gentle and--"  
  
"-Bakura-! Give it up already! What do you want?!" Ryou asked, exasperatedly. Bakura smiled happily.  
  
"Cherry Christmas, Ryou!" he chirped as he shoved a wrapped envelope into his light's face.  
  
"It's -Merry- Christmas, and that's not until tomorrow. . . ." corrected Ryou confusedly, quickly becoming more interested in the envelope than Bakura's mistakes.  
  
"Open it now! It doesn't matter if Christmas isn't til tomorrow, you're using it tonight!" egged on Bakura.  
  
"I am?" asked Ryou, looking up at his yami. Bakura's eyes widened and he slapped his hands over his mouth. Oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap. . . .  
  
"I shouldn't have told you that. . . . NEVER MIND! Open the kuso thing!" said Bakura quickly.  
  
"What on Earth? Bakura, what exactly are you getting me into?! This had -better- not be another court meeting notice!"  
  
"Hey!" pouted Bakura. "I only gave you one of those 5 times before! And the last one was way back a week ago! Talk about dredging up ancient history!"  
  
"-BAKURA-!"  
  
"OPEN IT!"  
  
Ryou sighed. "Fine, fine. . . ."  
  
He unwraped the envelope as Bakura looked on with apprehension. After he opened the card and read it, he gasped and launched himself at Bakura to give him a humongous hug.  
  
"That's so sweet!" he squealed. "Oh! And gift certificates to St. Louis Bread Company too! I love it there! Thank you so much, yami!" Bakura continued to smile, although it was obvious it had become quite forced.  
  
Bakura, (Bakura: BEING THE GENIUS THAT I -AM-!") after buying the gift certificates for Ryou, had decided that it would seem kind of fishy if he just up and gave them to Ryou without any real meaning behind them, and therefore decided to add a few things into his gift.  
  
He had bought a beautiful Christmas card and enclosed a picture taken of himself and Ryou (that he had gotten captioned and edited so the background was the Millenium Ring and a Ying-Yang) and a disgustingly caring and painstakingly written letter to Ryou on how he wouldn't rather have any other Hikari in the world, and that Ryou was like a brother to him.  
  
|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|  
  
That abomination took me -hours-! I am now completely -horrified- at myself! Oh! Woe is me!  
  
YOU OWE ME BIG FOR THIS, CLAWS!  
  
Eeep! Ok ok! I'll shut up now!  
  
{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{&  
  
After Ryou had stopped fawning over Bakura and calling him the best yami in the world a thousand times over, (Bakura: Ok, I admit, -that- part wasn't so bad.) Bakura decided to get on with the set up.  
  
"So, erm, Ryou, what say you go out to St. Louis Bread tonight, oh, say, around 7:30, and just enjoy yourself, with me out of the way?" he asked tentively.  
  
"Oh!" said Ryou. "I couldn't do it -tonight-, it's Christmas eve!"  
  
|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|*|  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . You've -got- to be kidding me.  
  
{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{  
  
"So?!" cried Bakura desperately. "It only has to be for. . . . an hour or so!"  
  
Ryou smiled. "But I'd rather spend time with -you-!"  
  
"But--but--" AAARGH! Bakura pulled on his hair, trying to figure out a way to trick his Hikari into going.  
  
After all, if he didn't set a date up for Ryou, then he surely wouldn't get that shipment of anthrax he wanted so much!  
  
"I'll go with you!" he blurted out. Ryou blinked.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I said, I'll come too!" Bakura repeated, pleased with his alibi. "It's just that, um, I really want to go to the Bread Company tonight! I, uh, feel so happy there! It's too cold in the house, and it's warm and cozy there!"  
  
Ryou looked at him in something akin to great surprise/shock, then slowly broke into a grin again.  
  
"Okay! As long as you want to," He shrugged.  
  
YES! Bakura cheered to himself silently. Now he was in the clear! He headed off to the phone to call Yami.  
  
+%+%+%+%+%+%+%+%+%+%  
  
"Ha -HA-! In your face, Pharoah! I fulfilled -my- end of the bargain!" Bakura bragged. "And with 2 whole hours until 7:30, too!"  
  
Yami exhaled increduously. "It took you -this- long?!" Bakura paused.  
  
"Yeah. So? How long did it take -you-?" he asked grumpily. Bakura could hear the smirk in Yami's voice.  
  
"It's been set up since 8:00 this morning."  
  
"WHAT?! Ryou's still sleeping at 8:00 AM like -normal- people! I don't know what's wrong with -your- Hikari!" Bakura hissed indignantly.  
  
"Are you implying that there's something wrong with my Hikari?" Yami asked dangerously.  
  
Bakura sighed, knowing Yami was way to much of an egotist to back down on this.  
  
"Whatever. It's just that I have to go too, so you had better be there!" Bakura said.  
  
"Fine. What are we going to do after they get seated and junk?" asked Yami.  
  
Bakura smiled. "Get set up, then stay up and watch, of course."  
  
"Bakura! It's not right to invade your light's privacy like that!" said Yami firmly. Bakura raised his eyebrows.  
  
"Who said we were watching -them-?" He smiled ferally.  
  
"Bakura, what--?" Yami started, but the tomb robber had already hung up the phone.  
  
$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$  
  
TBC  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Hmm, what will they be watching?  
  
Lol yay! Another chapter done! And it's the longest one yet!  
  
I've planned this to have only one or two more chapters, and -maybe- an epilogue. And maybe a lime, also. . . .  
  
I can't promise that the next chapter will be up by Christmas, but I will try my hardest, and the story will be finished by 2004, hopefully.  
  
Ok review if you read this! I'm going to set my sights low and ask for at least 4 reviews on this chapter before I post the next one. And I'm posting it in Romance for a few days first, then I will change it to Humor for all of you that forget about me. ;_; Ok bye! 


	6. Dreaming of a White Christmas

Ok, chapter 6!  
  
And thank you Cettie-girl for reviewing again!  
  
This was story was originally only going to be a one-shot, but I decided to leave it open for continuation, and now I have 6 chapters! Well, I was gonna write until it was finished anyway, but I wasn't sure if I was gonna post it.  
  
Warnings: Yaoi will become more active in this chapter, or at least I will attempt to make it so. A little violence too.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything you have heard of in this story, except the plot and the jokes. THEY'RE MINE, I TELL YOU! -MINE-! Don't own Yu-Gi- Oh, Get On My Level (Eva Eva), or Get Low.  
  
Notes: Kinda towards the end of this chapter Bakura loses the hyperness that I've been writing him with, and becomes more quiet and serious. I hope that doesn't ruin it for anyone. I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, and I really hope you guys enjoy it.  
  
#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#  
  
Chapter 6: Dreaming of a White Christmas  
  
~!@#$%^&*~!@#$%^&*~!@#$%^&*  
  
"Three six nine! Damn you're fine! Girl, let me take it to ya one more time, get low! Get low get low get low get low get low get low! To the windoooooow! To the wall! Til the sweat drop down my--"  
  
What? Never heard a guy sing before?  
  
{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{&{  
  
Bakura sang 'Get Low' as he bustled around, setting up for the arrival of the infamous assassin, Claws. Ryou was upstairs getting ready to go to the Bread Company.  
  
"Ah, skee skee mother--Cookies, set out! Ah, skee skee, god--Cheese, check!" After Bakura set out the milk and added the finishing touches, Ryou came down.  
  
"And we all like to see those--Took you long enough!--workin," Bakura complained. Ryou blushed.  
  
"Well, I had to get ready. . . ." Ryou trailed off.  
  
"Why? Who's gonna be there?" asked Bakura suspisciously, relieving Ryou of his 'melodious' voice for a moment. Had he let something slip?  
  
"You never know," said Ryou, his blush deepening. Bakura secretly smirked, but didn't comment.  
  
This would have been the perfect time to taunt Ryou, but he didn't want to accidentally say something he shouldn't and make the date-to-be awkward for his Hikari and Yugi.  
  
"Whatever. Come on, let's go!" said Bakura, quickly ushering Ryou out of the house before he would be late, -or- notice any of the, um, -improvements- Bakura had made to the decorations. He wasn't sure if their plastic Santa was really supposed to be sporting a bling, chains, Sharpie tattoos, and a gun.  
  
+%+%+%+%+%+%+%+%+%+  
  
Ryou sighed happily, breathing in the smells as they entered the St. Louis Bread Company.  
  
Bakura discreetly scanned the room for the Pharoah and his brat, and spotted them over in a booth by the fireplace.  
  
After he and Ryou had bought a hot chocolate and a bagel apiece, he tried to look as if he had only just noticed them.  
  
"Hey, Ryou! Look! There's Yugi and Yami--erm, the moron and the midget! Uh, how dare they come here right when we're trying to spend some quality time together!" said Bakura uncomfortably, -and- rather unconvincingly, I might add. Ryou didn't seem to notice, however, and smiled.  
  
The blush was back. Bakura barely restrained himself from flashing a smug look in Yami's direction.  
  
"Bakura, how about we go say hi?" Ryou suggested happily. "We can sit with them, after all, Christmas is a time to spend with those you love! Er, I mean, are friends with!" he stuttered embarrassedly.  
  
Bakura inwardly rolled his eyes. Could Ryou make it any less obvious? Outwardly, however, he let out a fake growl and a 'hmph', then consented. This was -way- too easy. It must have been his highly intelligent mind, he decided.  
  
As they approached the table, Yami looked up and flashed Bakura an impatient look.  
  
What? It wasn't as if they were late or anything. Which, in actuality, they weren't for once.  
  
"Hi Yugi!" chirped Ryou.  
  
"Hey, Ryou! Surprise seeing -you- here!" said Yugi, noticing them.  
  
"Yeah, my yami just insisted we come! He even got me gift certificates!" said Ryou, looking at Bakura fondly. Yugi smiled.  
  
"So did mine! Must be a yami thing," he said. "Hey, why don't you come sit and eat with us?" he suggested. Ryou positively beamed.  
  
"I'd love to!" And without another look toward Bakura, he sat down across from Yugi and soon became engrossed in conversation.  
  
+%+%+%+%+%+%+%+%+%+%+  
  
After about 15 minutes of being ignored, Bakura got fed up (-and- tired of standing) and loudly stated that he was going to the bathroom. Ryou simply waved his hand to acknowledge that he had heard Bakura and given his permission. Bakura huffed, and, after sending a meaningful look toward Yami, headed off toward the direction off the bathrooms.  
  
Once Ryou could no longer see him, he made a sharp right and went out the doors.  
  
Yami joined him a few minutes later, only to find him singing.  
  
"Get on my level! What?! Get on my level! What?! Get on my level!"  
  
"Stop!" Yami bellowed. Bakura jumped.  
  
"Jeez, warn me next time, why don't you?!" he huffed, a bit miffed that his perfect and acutely keen ears had failed to pick up the sound of Yami approaching.  
  
In reality, he had been too busy daydreaming about a certain Pharoah to notice much else.  
  
"Well?" asked Yami impatiently. "You said we were going to watch! What are we doing out -here-?!" He was obviously just as cold as Bakura was.  
  
Bakura 'tsk'ed. "Do you really not pay that much attention to me? I said we -weren't- watching Ryou and Yugi! They're boring! Instead, we're going on a stakeout," said Bakura excitedly. Yami raised an eyebrow.  
  
"A stakeout?" asked Yami. "Bakura, who in Ra's name are we going to -watch- for?!"  
  
Bakura's smile grew wider.  
  
"SANTA CLAWS."  
  
=`=`=`=`=`=`=`=`=`=`=`=`=`=`=`=`=  
  
Ryou and Yugi finally were able to stop laughing at the stories they were telling about their yamis.  
  
"Hey," said Yugi, looking around. "Where did they go, anyway?" Ryou also looked around.  
  
"I don't know." He smiled. "The link's blocked off. I'm betting they ditched us. I think they like each other." They both giggled at the funny but cute mental picture, then sat in comfortable silence.  
  
Ryou suddenly looked down, blushing.  
  
"What is it?" asked Yugi.  
  
"Well," said Ryou softly and hesitantly. "As long as Bakura's gone, there's. . . . um. . . . uh. . . ." Yugi laughed good-naturedly.  
  
"What is it, Ryou? You know you can tell me anything." Inwardly, Ryou smiled. 'I know.' He looked back up, his blush deeper than ever.  
  
"Yugi, there's something I want you to know. . . ."  
  
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\  
  
Yami put his head in his hands for the umpteenth time that night.  
  
"I take it back. Let's go watch Ryou and Yugi. YOU ARE -INSANE-!" he said exasperatedly. Bakura smiled brightly.  
  
"It's what I do."  
  
Yami's head returned to resting on his palms as he rubbed his temples.  
  
"How do you even know he comes out the -fireplace-?" Bakura shrugged.  
  
"Ryou told me. Besides, behind the couch was one of the -more- comfortable places to hide!" Yami gaped.  
  
"It get's -worse- than cramped against you and this disgusting wallpaper?"  
  
"Well, there's always outside on the -roof-, if you--" Bakura started, but Yami held his hand up.  
  
"Point proved. Shut up now." Bakura frowned.  
  
"Why do you do that?" he asked quietly.  
  
"Do what?" asked Yami, thrown by the question.  
  
[A/N Um, yeah, here I was in a darker mood when I was writing it, so there's a big change, and if you're not in the right mood it will seem out of place. . . .]  
  
"Look down on me. Despise me."  
  
"Huh?" said Yami, bewildered.  
  
"Why do you hate me so much?!" cried Bakura.  
  
Wait a minute.  
  
Cried?  
  
"-Re-wind," stated Yami. "-You- were the one that hated -me- in the first place!" he said indignantly.  
  
"Only because you sealed me in that Ra-forsaken Ring!" Bakura said, temper quickly rising. Yami blanched. He was bringing -this- up after 5000 years?!  
  
"Ra, aren't you -over- that yet?!" he asked. Bakura hissed.  
  
"You expect me to just -get over- it?! Yami, you ruined my very -soul-!" He saw a thin layer of water cover Bakura's eyes. Instead of feeling compassion for the theif, however, Yami growled at him.  
  
"Well -you- had to go and ruin my father's -tomb-!" said Yami, his own temper rapidly catching up to Bakura's. "I mean, yeah, he was an evil guy and all, but he was still my -father-, and. . . and you. . . you had to go and destroy my last memory of him!" Yami choked.  
  
Bakura's eyes watered farther, even though no tears escaped. He tried to be strong as wave after wave of emotions unsettled for centuries rose within him.  
  
5000 years, and just -now- they were getting to this conversation. He had ached for far too long, and was finally sick of it all.  
  
"Ha! You think -you- got the worse hand in this?! Your -father- killed off my -entire family-!" he shouted, even though he was less than a foot away from Yami.  
  
"That wasn't my fault!" Yami yelled back.  
  
"Well it wasn't mine either!"  
  
"I never said it was in the first place!"  
  
"He didn't have to go and do that to -us-!"  
  
"It was either you or -honorable- people!"  
  
"Oh, so now I'm completely worthless, am I?!"  
  
"I never said that!"  
  
"You -implied- it!"  
  
"Oh, just -shut- -up-!" Yami yelled.  
  
"Not until you forget about your -stupid- -dad-!" Bakura snapped venomously.  
  
"Never!" Yami cried, shocked at how one-sided that stupid tomb robber's feelings were. How could he -say- such a thing?! "You know what?!" he screamed.  
  
He had finally cracked.  
  
"WHAT?!" screeched Bakura.  
  
"He was right!" Yami roared. "HE WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG! YOU -ARE- WORTHLESS! -NOW GET OFF ME-!"  
  
He pulled his fist back as much as the space behind the couch would allow, then sent it hurling toward Bakura, using his Puzzle to give him extra strength.  
  
SMACK!  
  
Bakura flew back out from behind the couch and landed with a sickening thud in front of the Christmas tree.  
  
Everything was silent, save Yami's ragged breaths, and the sound of him standing up.  
  
Bakura appeared dazed, and gently brought his fingers up to touch the cut on his chin.  
  
}#}#}#}#}#}#}#}#}#}#}#}#}#}#}#}#}#}  
  
It -hurts-.  
  
It -actually- -hurts-.  
  
It hurts. . . . so badly.  
  
Not the cut, of course. I've suffered much worse, and my Millenium Ring will heal it soon enough.  
  
What hurts is. . . . what Yami said to me.  
  
That I am worthless in his eyes.  
  
. . . . . . . . . It feels like someone has just ripped my heart in two and put lemon juice on it.  
  
It shouldn't feel like this. I shouldn't even -care- what he thinks.  
  
Right?  
  
Or. . . . do I. . . .?  
  
Ra.  
  
I think I might actually -love- him.  
  
Screw that, I -know- I love him. It's not just lust. . . . I don't even know if it ever -was-.  
  
And I don't think it even matters anymore.  
  
No! Come on Bakura! Be strong! Just like you have had to be for thousands of years! You have walls as thick as -diamonds- around your heart!  
  
. . . . . . . . . They just shattered.  
  
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0  
  
A tear slid down Bakura's cheek as Yami stared down at him.  
  
The Pharoah's face became hot, his eyes burned with tears, and he didn't even think he knew why.  
  
But deep down, he did.  
  
"Damn you, Bakura. . . . DAMN YOU!" he screamed as tears came cascading forth to flow in a river down his cheeks. He threw himself on top of Bakura and began to wring his neck.  
  
Bakura just watch him silently, two more tears slipping out. He stayed limp.  
  
"You are the most -worthless-," PUNCH! "-Pitiful-," SLAP! "-Uncivilized-," SMACK! "-Sorry- excuse for a human being I have ever -met-!" cried Yami, enraged. "AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?!"  
  
Bakura looked Yami straight into the eyes. It was as if time had frozen for a split second, and then the tomb robber's eyes overflooded.  
  
"W. . . what, Yami?" he asked, voice hoarse and cracking with emotion.  
  
Yami just stared at him for a moment, then suddenly broke into the kindest, happiest, gentlest smile anyone has ever seen, eyes still wet with tears clinging to his lashes.  
  
"I love you."  
  
Then, without another word, he leaned down and kissed Bakura like there was no tomorrow.  
  
&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%  
  
[A/N ^_^ The end! Yeah, I was feeling kind of demented, so. . . . Actually, just because it's Christmas, I wrote a little extra chapter thing (be warned, I can really ruin a moment!) (-and- reinstate it, though). And if people want me to, I'll write an epilogue about Christmas Day, and it will be your regular old humor from Bakura's point of view. Only this time there'll be some fluff, too. ^_~ And don't forget about sidestories! I'm really sorry I didn't get this out on Christmas Day, but Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone anyway. -^_^-]  
  
@#$@#$@#$@#$@#$@#$@#$@#$@#$@#$  
  
Ryou quietly entered his home, a gigantic stupid smile plastered onto his face (that may have had something to do with Yugi right behind him, holding his hand). His hair was a little messed up from their earlier activities (for which they had been 'escorted' out of the restaurant), but otherwise he figured Bakura had nothing to suspect.  
  
He was quietly padding upstairs with Yugi (for a -sleepover-) when he remembered that he still had to put out the presents for Bakura. He told Yugi this.  
  
"Just wait up for me, ok?" he whispered.  
  
"Nah, I'll help you!" Yugi replied brightly. Ryou nodded. He went to the laundry room (the only place Bakura never bothered to enter and mess up) and retrieved the gifts with Yugi, then went into the family room to place them under the tree.  
  
When he entered, he let out a small breath.  
  
Yami and Bakura were laying in each other's arms under the tree, peaceful expressions upon each of their faces.  
  
They were still clothed, but evidently the heat had gone up for a little while, judging by the factors that Bakura had his leg wrapped around Yami, Yami was pressing himself flush against Bakura, and their hands had not yet returned from where they had been exploring.  
  
Ryou sighed softly. The soft glow from the multicolored lights on the tree made it seem so magical.  
  
He and Yugi finished setting out the presents. Yugi turned to go upstairs, but Ryou stopped him.  
  
"One thing left!" He went over to the fireplace and started to eat the cookies and drink the milk laid out for Santa. After he finished those, he also saw a large block of cheese. Laughing quietly to himself, he went to put it back in the fridge. As soon as he picked it up, however,--  
  
SPROING!  
  
"AAAH!"  
  
A net flew out of nowhere, entrapping him and pinning him against the wall.  
  
"What the--?"  
  
"DINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDING!" An alarm somewhere in the house (sounded like Bakura's room) went off incessantly.  
  
Bakura immediately jolted awake and whipped out a dagger, sharply turning to Ryou, and poising to throw in one fluid motion.  
  
They stared at each other for a moment, and then Ryou exploded.  
  
"-YOU RIGGED THE CHEESE-?!" Yugi burst out laughing. Yami, who had just woken up, looked around wildly.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Bakura's eyes went wide and he quickly hid his knife behind his back.  
  
"Heh heh. . . . -Ryou-! What a surprise seeing. . . -you-. . . here!" he chuckled nervously. Ryou had steam pouring out of his ears.  
  
"YOU WERE GOING TO TRY AND KIDNAP SANTA CLAUSE, WERE'NT YOU?!" he screamed at his yami. Bakura winced.  
  
"Ryou, he was a -menace-. . . ." the tomb robber pleaded, quickly freeing Ryou from the ropes.  
  
"He doesn't exist!" revealed Ryou exasperatedly. Bakura's mouth dropped open.  
  
"-What-?!"  
  
"*Sigh* Never mind." Ryou smiled. "I see you and Yami worked through your differences, no?" Bakura blushed and pulled Yami into his lap on the couch.  
  
"Sure did." He kissed Yami full on the lips. The former Pharoah also had a blush painting his cheeks when they pulled back for air.  
  
Bakura surveyed Ryou and Yugi.  
  
"And how did you guys turn out?" he asked, skeptically and hopefully at the same time. Ryou copied Bakura's earlier actions, pulling Yugi onto the couch and kissing him.  
  
"Same as you," he said, smiling. Bakura let out a relieved exhale.  
  
"Merry Christmas, Ryou." Ryou blinked.  
  
"But you already gave. . . . wait a minute, you two set us up!" he declared. Yami smiled slyly and cuddled closer to Bakura, relishing his warmth.  
  
"It was -his- idea."  
  
Yugi stared at his yami.  
  
"When. . . Why. . .How did. . . .?" He fumbled with trying to find the right words for a moment, then gave it up. "Thank you so much Yami." He beamed at his darker half, who smiled back.  
  
"Only for you, Yugi." he said softly. Bakura cleared his throat huffily. Yami laughed and hugged him. "Alright, for you too!"  
  
Bakura smiled. "I was joking." He turned toward Ryou. "You know what? I changed my mind. This is better than presents! You were right," he admitted.  
  
Now -there- was something you didn't hear every day.  
  
Ryou smiled.  
  
/Thank you./  
  
And they just sat and stared at the tree in magical silence for hours afterward.  
  
%&@($&@!)(%&@)!_$&@_!*&@&!  
  
Sigh.  
  
So -this- is what Christmas was all about.  
  
And Santa Claws doesn't exist.  
  
All that work for nothing.  
  
Well. . . . (I looked down at Yami, gently snoozing in my arms). . . not nothing.  
  
My eyelids began to droop, and the multicolored lights began to blur.  
  
Somewhere off in the distance, I thought I could hear sleighbells. . . . . Nah. It's probably just my imagination.  
  
One eyelid closed.  
  
Looks like it's finally time for me to turn in.  
  
Mmmm. . . . . Hey, you know what?  
  
. . . . . . . .Maybe winter isn't so bad after -all-. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
  
$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%  
  
~The End~  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 


End file.
